Conisborough Joke

April 1891

Mexborough & Swinton Times – Friday 17 April 1891

Conisborough Joke

There was a good joke at Conisborough last week.

The local police wanted 37s 6d, from a person named Wilfred Woolhouse who had been evicted for drunkenness and retuning to quit the Station Inn.

The man, point blank refused to pay anything. Woolhouse continued in his statement that he should not pay a farthing, and was threatened with the alternative of accommodation at Wakefield if he did not “tip up. ”

He said the case against him had been dismissed end that no fine bad been inflicted. The police said that he was labouring under an hallucination,  if he thought so, for the magistrates certainly said the case was clearly proved and that the penalty most be Imposed.

“Oh,” said the innocent Woolhouse, “Iook at the newspaper and you will see the case was dismissed.”

The officer saw the newspaper, and knew what the man said was correct but, unfortunately, for the man, the newspaper was not infallible. It was another case that had been dismissed and not the one in which Woolhouse was concerned.

I am afraid this reader will be rather sceptical about the veracity of the Press after this.