Contract for Scavenging

Let us analyse the contract for scavenging New Conisborough, 440 houses; Old Conisborough, 420 houses. Now, I undertake to say if the parish was polled among those 420 houses you would not find 50 dirty folk requiring the aid of the scavenger. Yet the whole 420 are taxed to pay for 400 dirty houses at Denaby Main.

None will gainsay Mr. Chambers’ ability and diplomacy—but the old Book says, “No man can serve two masters,” to which Conisborough can feelingly testify. Mr. Chambers is the servant of Denaby Main—he is not the representative of Conisborough.

Modesty in most men would dictate the impropriety and presumption of an alien saddling Conisborough with a £300 sanitary rate. How these young colonies will domineer over old and more respectable settlements.

Mr. Chambers will tax widow Morley’s carpenter’s shop, and all the sickle, brush, brick, glass bottle makers, blacksmiths, joiners, shoe, grocer, draper, tailors, and spice shops in poor old Conisborough, but you must not touch Denaby Main workshops.

No, you must even give them a deferential rate on their cottages, while every widow’s and labourer’s cottage in Conisborough must be taxed to carry away Denaby sewage.

Yes, Denaby may pollute our drains, pollute our streams, pollute our atmosphere, and purloin our pockets, and our funky Parochial Committee roll back, perhaps.

Not much wonder since it is an act of courtesy that Conisborough is allowed a Parochial Committee—well, well, if playing the toady, the sycophant, and the lapdog is the only qualification, better without.