It Makes a Man Feel Like a Fool
If you go to get shaved with no hair on your face,
It makes a man feel like a fool;
If you lose all the money you bet on a race,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
If you take a young lady to see a new play,
And invite her to supper at a high-toned cafe,
Put your hand in your pocket with no money to pay,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
If you’re asked for the time when you’ve only a chain.
It makes a man feel like a fool;
If your umbrella turns inside out in the rain,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
If you take a young lady out for a stroll,
And your tailor comes up before you’re aware,
And will ask you to settle that little affair,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
If a lady you met dressed in satin and lace,
It makes a man feel like a fool;
If you get but one glimpse of her beautiful face,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
If you put your hands on her shoulders so bold,
And she lifts up her veil, it’s then you behold
An ugly old damsel some sixty years old,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
If a man has been married some ten or twelve years,
It makes a man feel like a fool;
If his wife is the boss and has made him shed tears,
It makes a man feel like a fool.
He meets a lady of whom he knows well,
And invites her to sip off wine nice and cold,
His wife looks in on the scene, and says: Ah, there!
It makes a man feel like a fool.