Grand Social – Since our Angelina joined a cooking class (poem)

November 1901


Since our Angelina joined a Cooking Class


Our happy little home is filled with misery and gloom

and carking care now sits on every brow

we’ve every single one of us been blighted in our bloom

and all of us we feel we don’t know how

for we are growing so dyspeptic that we’re nearly catalytic

and we really need digestions made of brass

for we eat things to our cost

which would exterminate an ostrich

since our Angelina joined a cooking class

She manufactured dishes that would turn a chemist blue

if their mysteries he tried to analyse

our cook resigned a month ago and took her wages due

when she tasted one of Angelina´s pies

she makes things. “A la Francaise” which none of us can fancy.

And she says. “It is cos our ignorance is crass,”

our dog expired last Sunday, and our cat left home on Monday.

Since our Angelina joined a cooking class.

The pastry that she makes will last for centuries.

her doughnuts they are as hard as cannon shots

we´d suet pudding weeks ago, we’ve got it with us still

and her sponge cake often ties us up in knots

her stews they stupefied us and her puddings petrify us

till we dare not view our features in the glass

and the tender tear drops trickle when she poisons us with pickles

since our Angelina joined a cooking class


Poor father’s hair was raven black, but now it’s nearly white

poor mother, she is pale and hollow eyed

full brother Bill got jaundice and he’s lost his appetite

and he prattles in his sleep of suicide

when he took a large decoction of dear Angie’s own concoction

and it was that that sent poor brother Bill to grass

so he’s seeking rest in quiet in a simple skilly diet

since our Angelina joined a cooking class

The house is full of medicine, the end is drawing nigh

our family doctors left us to our lot

she gave a tramp a sample of her cookery to try

he tried it and he died upon the spot

if some Tom, Dick or Harry would our Angelina marry

but nobody is brave enough. Alas

his loving wife to make her so we wait the undertaker

since our Angelina joining a cooking class